Piece one of my day was dealing with the kids being with Eric. He picked them up at about 9:00 this morning and they're still with him tonight. I've NEVER been completely alone at night since Grant was born. I'm not going to delve too deep into this right now. As I look toward the now empty side of the bed where the little squid slept last night, her princess jammies are still balled up where she stripped. I miss her. I miss the big kids too but I know they can fend for themselves and verbalize their needs. They know Eric. Annie doesn't. Eric doesn't know half of the Annie-isms that keep her happy. Blech. I miss my babies.
The second and third pieces of the pie today were sort of like two separate pieces that just didn't get cut all the way through. I had a date tonight and he took me dancing. Let's just say that what was supposed to be swing dancing turned out to be salsa and samba. Um. The only thing those have in common is the letter S! However, I'll admit that I did enjoy it and would do it again without hesitation. I was much better at the whole samba thing than the salsa, though. My brain is as tired as my legs from all of the concentration. Um, but just as a note to myself, dancing is NOT a good first date sort of outing - especially Latin dancing where you're expected to be in close proximity to your dance partner. Majorly awkward! Stepping on his toes was the least of my worries! So, the dancing was something that I'd absolutely do again but the date... Here's the problem. By nature, I don't like to hurt anyone's feelings. However, there just wasn't a "click" with this guy. Crap. I'm not going to candy coat it. There wasn't even a "thud." These are those awkward things that you're supposed to deal with when you're in college. I'm too old to play these games. The guy was nice and a real gentleman (never married, no kids, well educated, spent years as a missionary) but... I'm just going to leave it at that. As we left, he called out to tell me that he'd be in contact with me about doing something else. I just smiled. Was I supposed to say, "No, thank you, dear sir?" When he calls, do I just ignore his calls? That sure doesn't sound like the right thing to do. I guess I'll just have to buck up and tell him. Too much drama!
I'm exhausted. Four hours of dancing and I'm completely done. But, here's what I can tell you. Tonight, I'm going to bed knowing that I took a huge step out of my comfort zone tonight. (I didn't realize how fearful I was of dance situations until the whole New Year's Eve debacle). I did it! I didn't stand against the wall. I didn't hide under a table (or in the bathroom). I'm not thrilled that my babies aren't here with me but I'm praying that He will comfort their hearts tonight if they are lonely or homesick. That's about all I can do.
Good night, all.
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