Once again, Eric was on pick up duty this afternoon so that left me with supposedly unlimited options. However, quite frankly, I just didn't want to be alone. So, I grabbed dinner at my new favorite Thai joint (who knew I liked Thai food - Dora the Explorer learned something new on an adventure) and headed to my parents' house. Seriously? Yeah, I know. I kept hearing strains of Bon Jovi's "Who Says You Can't Go Home." So, with my little take out box in hand, I crashed Fred and Ethel's place.
When I got there, I found them nestled on the screened in back porch like a Norman Rockwell painting. Just kidding. I think Norman Rockwell would run screaming at the thought of painting my parents. What I actually found was mom seated at the table with her glass of tea and my dad pointing toward two long pieces of PVC pipe which had been cemented into the ground on either side of mom's favorite bird feeder. Well, heck! I just got myself dinner and a show without having to pay for the show. I knew this was going to be really good! As my parents ignored me and continued their "banter," I learned that mom had mentioned seeing a picture in one of her demented Birds and Blooms magazines. I can't even peruse that magazine without getting antsy. I like my yard to look nice despite what the HOA may think, but I just can't get on board with the crazy folks that read that magazine. Anywho... Mom had made the mistake of telling dad about a picture or article she'd seen about putting some sort of tray underneath bird feeders to catch all of the seed that the careless birds throw out. My mom gets incredibly ticked off when the birds only eat the sunflower seeds out of the mix and then toss the remainder on the ground. She seems to think they understand that the sunflower seeds are the most expensive and do it on purpose. Yes, mom. The birds do think about the cost of the seed and are plotting to bankrupt you on birdseed! So, mom told dad about this tray system and he had devised his own system of trapping the birdseed which happened to include ginormous PVC pipes sticking straight out of the ground like flag poles. (I really wish that I'd had the guts to take a picture of the contraption but I just kept eating my noodles and chicken and enjoyed the show).
The absolute height of the whole comedy was when my mom snarkily said to my dad, "Roy! If you were still working, tonight would have been your night to close up!" Translation - I don't like you being retired. I'm tired of your projects! I want to come home and NOT find PVC cemented into the ground!
By this time, I was having a very hard time controlling my laughter. Fred knows that I'm a sucker and will almost always take his side if he hasn't committed a major felony and his intent was pure. Which, in this situation, you've gotta understand that his intent was 200% pure. He simply wanted to fix a problem for Ethel. She offered him a solution from a fancy pants magazine and he came up with the Duck Dynasty solution. Sometimes, I really wish she could see that his motivation is not to destroy her house but only to help her. Anyway, about that time, he looked toward me. I think they'd actually forgotten that I'd been sitting there silently enjoying the prime time comedy. He asked me if I thought the 7 foot tall PVC pipes cemented into the flower bed looked tacky. My mom was complaining that they'd just spent hundreds of dollars to have the backyard seeded and the beautiful grass had just started growing and the cement ruined the whole effect. In an attempt to keep myself out of time-out, I simply offered a solution to both of them- Krylon. While my dad likes to fix things with PVC pipes and duct tape, I prefer spray paint and hot glue. I told them to spray paint the cement blobs with green paint and then paint the PVC, as well, and it would blend right in. My mom huffed at me and my dad beamed. Ok. I'll admit that I'm sort of a daddy's girl and take great pride in helping him defeat my mom's lack of adventure and conservative nature. Now, I'm still not sure how in the world Fred is going to use that PVC pipe to catch excess birdseed but that part of the equation had been lost. Who cared.
About that time, my dad piped up and told me that he wanted me to see the room he'd painted upstairs. The look on Ethel's face told me that she obviously didn't give him permission to paint, either! He had painted my sister's room a light bluish-gray color. I waited for Ethel to lob some sort of complaint but before she could do it, Fred admitted to the blobs of gray on the freshly painted white ceiling and noted that he'd take care of it. Ethel's comeback, "Well, once you put the crown molding up, you won't be able to see it." I don't think I've ever seen Fred look at her like that. I felt like I was standing on the platform in between the Rock 'Em Sock 'Em figures about ready to get rocked or socked. Trapped. So much for my dinner and a show. I was now in the middle of the show. At that point, Fred led me into the hallway to show me a ding that Ethel had put in the paint in the hallway. The two of them kept dishing it out like they were two years old. Now, please note that Fred and Ethel weren't yelling and they weren't really mad at each other. It was more like friendly banter between a cat and a rabid dog but it was getting too much for me. I politely excused myself and fled the scene. Part of me wonders if I should call over there and see who won but I'm afraid that I might get an earful from my mom about encouraging Fred to use spray paint.
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| When Grant was born, I think Dad's first thought was, "Yes! I have a partner in crime!" |
When I finally made it home, I procrastinated about laundry until I couldn't find anything else to possibly do. I will admit that the load of laundry that's currently in the washer has been run three times now. I'm not sure when I put the original load in but it soured. So, I just added the couple of items that I needed to wash to the original load and ran it again. Then, I pulled those couple of items out and threw them in the dryer. Oops. The original load soured again! So, I did the same thing again! Tonight, I decided that it was time to break the cycle and actually run the load and move it to the dryer (where it will probably stay until the end of the week). I simply cannot figure out an effective way to do laundry. Obviously, the way I'm doing it now isn't really the most efficient. Oh well.
With laundry in the dryer, lunches for everyone packed, kids all bathed and in bed, I'm going to crash for the night.
I'm sure everyone out there in blog land can sleep better knowing all about my day, though.
Above all, keep your love for one another at full strength, since love covers a multitude of sins.
1 Peter 4:8
Good night, all.
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