It's time for an intervention when it comes to rousing this group of chicken nuggets in the mornings. I'm not above bribery. I'm tired of folks thinking that they don't need to get up until I call them the third time! Tomorrow, I will institute bribery on a mass scale.
When I finally got everyone to their designated starting positions this morning, I heard my phone buzzing on the window ledge in my classroom. I never get a cell signal in the building! I answered the call to have my dad inform me that I needed to leave the van unlocked because he was coming to get it. Um, ok. This is one of those situations where you don't ask Fred what he plans to do with the van. You simply start praying that he isn't going to use duct tape (or PVC pipe) in the activity! So, I did as I was told and unlocked the van and left the key for him - and then completely forgot that he'd taken the van!
As I left the building hours later, a colleague ask me how I was going to get home! Doh! However, the van was tucked neatly into a parking spot at the edge of the lot. I could see the greasy black finger prints all over the sides of the white van so I knew that Fred has intercepted the vehicle at some point. When I opened the door, the floor was littered with parts and pieces that looked like they should have been under the hood and not rolling around on the floor. Ugh. I just kept telling myself that I needed to be grateful for... whatever he had done.
I went and picked up all of the chicken nuggets and then thought I was heading home until Ethel called to tell me that I needed to take a detour back to their house. Nice. She obviously didn't know that I had just endured sitting through car line for 20 minutes with a four year old saying she needed to poop! I admit to asking Annie if she wanted me to put a Pull Up on her. Nope. I didn't even offer to take her to a real bathroom. I had my eyes set on the prize of a quiet afternoon at home with a pile of paperwork to do!
Ok. This is really dragging. I'm getting to the point. Basically, Fred had the garage door open for me when I arrived and he had a few choice words for me. Seems as if I'm not an expert on automotive maintenance and had overlooked what he deemed routine maintenance. I'm 37 years old and I still do NOT like to get into trouble with my daddy! Seems that he spent his entire day trying to undo whatever damage I did. (I'm still not quite sure what I did but, he didn't like it). He had the van in ICU for another two hours! When we finally left, he started to lecture me and then quit. Did he realize that I'm a grown woman with three kids, a house, and a job? Maybe he did. But do I realize that?
Here's my issue... How am I supposed to continue the "leave and cleave" part of adult life when mom and dad seem to have taken me back in as a child? It's so hard to find the boundaries. While I want to snap back at Fred when he declares me incompetent, I don't because I know that my Battleship would be sunk without his help. When Ethel oversteps her boundaries as a grandma, it's hard to say anything because I know that without her help, I'd be in major trouble. Fred and Ethel both end up playing clean-up when I can't make the ends meet with schedules, emotions, and even with basic maintenance. Oh, heck. I'm not going to lie. They make the financial ends meet for the kids' activities constantly! Without their help, our lives would look very different right now. So, I ask again, how am I suppose to find the boundaries of being a single mom when Fred and Ethel are constantly having to sneak around the boundaries to help keep the folks behind the lines in working order? You know what this boils down to? Independence vs. dependence. I hate having to be dependent on anyone. It has taken me years to realize that but it's one of those things swirling around at my core. For some reason, relying on others equates to failure in my book. Maybe this isn't logical or reasonable but that's just how I'm wired. Maybe I need to work on rewiring those thoughts. Hmmm... On days like this, the battle of me vs. them smells like stank!
Here's the other part of the issue... Tomorrow is Muffins with Mom at Annie's school. I'm not going. I feel guilty taking off more time even if it would only be a couple of hours. So, mom is going in my place. Ugh. This jabs me at a hundred different places tonight. Part of me is scolding myself and telling myself that I should have taken the time off and gone despite feeling like I've missed more days this year than any in the past. Another little meanie-head voice is reminding me what a crappy mom I am and I can't even manage to meet one simply little obligation for Annie's class. Then, the little goody-goody voice tells me that missing the muffins tomorrow will not land us in the therapist's office immediately. It's only a muffin. Sometimes, I just want the voices in my head to shut up and leave me alone!
So, I will go forth and pretend that I know what I'm supposed to do now to keep the van in better working order. And, I'll continue to count my blessings of having mom and dad to pick up the pieces that I simply can't hang on to!
Good night, all.
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