Reality Check

I'm just going to put the hazard warning right here at the front end of this blog. If you get your knickers in a knot easily, take your knickers off now or stop reading. Got it? Good!

What a day! After a very long and hot night (Seriously? Temperature hot, you stupid-head) without air conditioning, I was basically the keeper of the shark tank today. Everyone was snapping at each other and acting like they had territory to defend. Do they not know that it's all mine anyway? What's theirs is mine and what's mine is my own! Ok. I'll admit that I might be a bit on the snippy side, too. The kids all knew that Eric would be driving in from TX today so that added another layer to the whole drama.

So, I tried for a factory reset around 9:00 this morning (aka turn up the music as loud as it'll go and dance). Dasha turned her frown upside down first. Annie had a gripe about the playlist but managed to drag her lower lip off of the floor eventually  Grant... well, he was preoccupied with his dad's visit and I just let him keep dragging his lower lip and warned him that he'd better be careful when he peed because he might pee on his lips. Gross. Why do I say crap like that?

The reset held its effect for a nanosecond. Then, it was back to the drama.

I found this court jester under her bed crying. Geez. Reasoning with her is like arm wrestling with a squid on steroids. The final verdict of her tears was that she was mad that time wasn't working right for her. She didn't want to wait on her daddy to get "home." Blah. Insert knife and twist into my soul. I lured her out with an art project.

Then, I found her in Dasha's room. She had convinced Dasha to help her get her shoes on so she could go downstairs and wait for daddy. Of course, Dasha obeyed. (This is why Annie gets pissed with me when I don't obey. Everyone else does, so why wouldn't mom do the same)?

Then, I went to find the big ape and get the lowdown on Eric's ETA. Grant was rather engaged in some crazy Mario game and I literally had to stand in front of him to converse. Seriously? Once again, my TV, my X-box, my right to conjure up a major disappearing act with the technology! Do NOT ignore me just so you can make a pixelated man jump off a wall in hopes of landing on a cloud! Basically, the bottom line was that Eric's progress was slow due to the weather he was having to battle along the way.

While I had this ogre's attention, I had a major issue to hash out with him. Over the last few days, he's been working on a reading project which is due on Monday. (We won't talk about my strong dislike of homework over a break). Anyway, he seems to refuse to take responsibility for his own screw ups sometimes (many times) and likes to blame the teacher. Ok. Yeah. I know that there are some teachers out there who are complete jerks. However, no matter who (do I say who or whom? I can't ever get that stupid rule right) issued the assignment, the responsibility of getting the task done lies with Grant. He continued to throw insults and accusations at the teacher. Once again, he had some valid points and I really had to anchor my feet to the ground to avoid jumping on his bandwagon. As the conversation progressed, I found out that he'd emailed the teacher asking for some more specifics on the assignments. He gained a few stars in my book at that point. Heck. He was taking some responsibility. However, after I saw the email, I was appalled. The email had a tone reminiscent of a corporate takeover. The tone was definitely NOT what you would expect (demand) of a teacher / student relationship. I was majorly ticked.

Grant and I had a conversation about the example he's setting with his tone and how it does not portray grace or even respect. He returned my volley with, "Mom! You have to give respect to get respect!" Oh, my gosh! He was insinuating that the teacher needed to put her sword down before he'd put his down. I don't think so! I was racking my mind like a Rolodex being flipped through with tornado strength winds to figure out what to do or say to this absurd little creature! I do remember looking over toward the corner and seeing his arsenal of Nerf guns and thinking that this might be a time to employ the "spare the rod" using Nerf darts. What would Cliff Huxtable do? What would June and Ward Cleaver do? What would Dr. Dobson do?

Here's the problem. Grant is beginning to have his own life independent of me. He wants to be cool and he wants to fit in. I get it. I remember those torturous middle school years. How am I supposed to convince him to be different and act according to His commands instead of going with the flow and acting in accordance with the "world?" I feel like I set an example for him but this just ain't cutting it. There's got to be a more purposeful approach to this. Taking a "wait and see" course sure isn't right, either. I'm stuck. This is one of those moments when being a single mom with a son completely sucks. I can't understand exactly what it's like to be a fuzzy middle school boy and the example I set as a mom, is simply different than what a Godly father would set. So, my mind is sort of in a muddle about this. He completely took me by surprise. It was like being attacked by a gang of ninjas. I don't think there's a good answer to this one yet. This is something I'm just going to have to think on.

OK. I DELETED THIS PART. MAYBE I'LL REPOST IT TOMORROW. MAYBE NOT! 

So, moving on for now...

With my brain in a fuddle and my heart in a muddle, my mom called and wanted to see the kids before they head off with Eric. We headed that way. Grant decided to induct my poor mom into the world of YouTube and showed her Charlie videos along with Ain't Got Time for That. It was a moment of realization for my mom that Grant actually watches videos on his phone and he's not just texting or playing games.

While this was going on and I was sort of smoldering, my dad situated Annie in her favorite place, his chair, and gave her a bottle of Coke and turned Sponge Bob on. Nice. Note to self - don't leave the toddler unattended with Dad for too long! She has him wrapped around her little finger like nobody's business! I'm fearful of the day when she figures out just how much power she has over him!

So, the remainder of the evening was comprised of me taking Grant to his Nana's house where he'd rendezvous with Eric later tonight. The girls are piled up under Annie's bed watching a Veggie Tales movie for the hundredth time. And, I'm fighting the salad spinner feeling (see yesterday's post) and trying to just be quiet and still and wait on answers. Answers about dealing with a teenager's heart. Answers about fixing the air conditioning. Answers about the kids being with Eric for the next 48 hours. Answers about...

You wanna know the truth? I'm just lonely tonight. I hate storms - in the atmosphere, in my brain, and in my heart. Tonight is one of those nights that could easily drive me into the arms of the wrong person. Like I've said before, I completely understand how single women end up with the wrong person. The burden is so heavy sometimes, it would be easier to shack up with the first person that came along. Hey, I'm just telling the truth. Someone to help change smoke detectors. Someone to help crank the lawn mower. Someone to occupy the space next to me during the thunder and lightening. It's not that I'm discontent with my life. I've learned to love my independence. There are just blimps on the radar like tonight when loneliness sets in momentarily. Believe me, I'll shake it off in a few hours and with some sleep. I'm not going to settle for someone to simply occupy the space. I have no need for a living breathing mistake. (Yikes. That sounded sort of cruel but I've really had to be firm with myself on this matter).

Now that I've spilled the beans about my day, I know everyone can go to bed feeling better that I'm one step closer to certified insanity. But, as I've tried to do throughout this whole blog-a-rama, you simply need to know the truth. The truth is a lot less messy than it was three years ago. However, there are still spills that require some time to clean up. Tonight, there has been a spill. 

Funny. Less than five minutes ago, I said I wished that I had someone here to sit with me. Ha! Like I said, God definitely has a sense of humor! I now have a munchkin curled up next to me. She is not appreciative of the thunder, lightening, or the heat. Quite frankly, neither am I tonight.

So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. Romans 12:2

Good night, all.